After we get married, I will be happy.
When I get out of debt, lose 20 pounds, get the babies out of diapers, get a new car, retire... It never ends. My new mantra:
When I am happy, I will be happy.
Yep, that's it.
Profound? Maybe.
A new concept? Well, it was to me.
I'm not saying I don't cry more days than not. I'm not saying I have everything I want or that I don't wish a lot of things were different.
I'm saying I choose happiness. Every morning. I choose to look for the good. I choose to build up. I choose gratitude.
I wouldn't say I have stumbled onto a life truth, but do I believe that what you are and how you feel are not necessarily the same. I believe you can be confident and feel anxious sometimes. You can be driven but feel unmotivated. I believe you can be truly happy at the same time you feel sad. Feelings are funny - they have power, but not control.
I recently found and shared these affirmations:
As a personal experiment, I have read them and prayed them first thing every morning for almost a month now. I wanted to see what would happen. Guess what? I am happier. I know this is the point where the self-help books would share amazing results, and my apologies if you were hoping for more. It's enough for me. For now.
Here's the crazy part. I found myself warning myself...be careful not to get too happy, no one likes a Pollyanna. Myself also chided myself the other morning about overusing the "love" reaction on friends' Facebook posts. That doesn't even make sense. Don't be too happy or too proud of your friends? Myself is a "dumb bunny" sometimes!
My friend shared this and I really could relate:
Too often I hold back because I'm afraid of being too much. It occurred to me that's just another form of playing small. I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes:
With God's help, I'm choosing happiness and I'm done playing small.
Anyway, that's where I am right now. I sure don't have it all figured out, but I've been working on it and I wanted to check in. Love y'all.
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