All things?

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 3:14 has always been my life verse.

For those that don't know, I was in 4-H and FFA from the time I could join, and I raised and showed lambs and pigs every year. When I was a junior in high school, I showed my first steer. His name was Wheels, because I hoped to make enough money to buy my first pickup. (I did, by the way!) We were super blessed to win or place at every show we entered. I bonded with that calf like no other animal I'd ever owned; and, as all stock show kids know, the goodbye is inevitable...and sometimes very hard. I repeated Philippians 3:14 over and over as I walked him through the sale ring and down the alley to return with only an empty halter.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I have used this verse to calm my nerves before public speaking, or before a job interview, or in the midst of leaving an unhealthy relationship.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I am currently struggling with the word "ALL". Because this thing is really super big. The biggest thing ever, in fact. I am not honestly convinced that this could be part of the deal. Really, God?? ALL things??

One of our last serious conversations was about the Old & New Testaments. I went to church that Sunday and he hadn't felt like going. When I got home, he asked me what church was about. I told him it was from the book of Exodus about the plagues and the parting of the Red Sea. We talked about how powerful God is and how people don't realize the number of Israelites that crossed on dry land. Derek confessed that sometimes believing those stories is hard because they are so incredible and we don't see things like that in our modern world. Then we talked about how if you believe the bible that Jesus died on the cross, was buried, and arose 3 days later so that we could have victory over sin and everlasting life; then you have to believe the rest, too. Either all the Word of God is truth or it's not. We agreed, we believe!

So I am standing here with these same questions. It's either all true or it's all questionable. "ALL" is hard. I am clinging to this promise with everything I have right now, because I am finding it hard to
believe  that the ALL in Philippians 3:14 could possibly include learning how to be without him.

I am finding it a huge challenge to believe the ALL in Romans 8:28

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

 

How can "ALL" things possibly work together for good in this ocean of loss and brokenness?

I know.

It's ALL true, or it's ALL questionable.

I believe, but I am relating more to the ALL and the father in Matthew 9:23-24 right now.

" Jesus said to him, “If  you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

 

Lord,
I believe, but help my unbelief. 
Amen.

G is for Guilt

 

 

The enemy has been working on me double time. These are the things I have worried about or felt guilt about. When you read you will see what a conniving liar he can be. I need prayer in this area because I am finding it to be a struggle not to fall into his traps.


Lie #1:  I should have insisted Derek go to the doctor.

Truth: In fact, I did insist. I had straight up thrown a fit, but Derek didn't realize how bad it was. He would never have chosen to leave me. The bible tells us our days are numbered and so we know it wouldn't have changed this outcome.


Lie #2: I should be ashamed for having a good day at work and for smiling.

Truth: Derek would NOT want me to be sad. He told me over and over again when my Dad passed away to hold on to the good things, enjoy life, be thankful for having had such a great Dad and honor him by living. I know he would expect that from me now, too.

Lie#3:  I was not honoring his memory when I bought my brand of frozen pizza instead of Derek's, when I moved the TV angle more towards my spot than his, and scooted the coffee table back a little closer than Derek had it.

Truth: Who cares? Derek wouldn't. My comfort, happiness, and protection were his main concern. He would insist I carry a jacket when it was cold or go to bed when it was getting late. (I've mentioned before, I am basically a child).

Lie #4: I have also worried about burdening others and then at the same time beat myself up for not asking for help.

Truth: My people want to help me. My people love me. And Derek, with his outgoing personality and ability to maintain friendships, unknowingly placed people in my life to help me through this time. I should not steal blessings, but I should be strong.

G is for Grief

Derek W. Griffith
June 26, 1972 - January 13, 2020

 

Derek was born on June 26, 1972 in Big Spring. His parents are Jo and Steve Stone, and the late Wayne Griffith. Grandparents were Jack and Glenny Griffith and Henry and Helen Lasiter. He never really met a stranger, but he would usually work, “We’re from Big Spring” into the introductory conversation. He attended schools in Big Spring and Colorado City. He played baseball and sang in the choir. He was in Rhapsody and was the first freshman to be selected for Meistersingers at that time. He graduated from Big Spring High School in 1990. He then attended Howard College and during that time, he toured across the country, singing with the Joe Whitten Prison Ministries. He loved to sing the National Anthem, unaccompanied, at the Howard College Hawks basketball games.

He attended Texas A&M University and embraced the Spirit of Aggieland wholeheartedly. He worked for a time on a beach re-nourishment and mapping project on the Carolina coast driving a CRAB, Coastal Research Amphibious Buggy. Most recently, he was a caregiver for his little buddy, Bodie, and they shared a special bond.

Derek married Carrie Bruton on July 30, 2016. They both said they saved each other. When they rescued Zumi, a chi-weenie puppy, their little family was complete.
Derek loved all sports, especially baseball, and more specifically AGGIE baseball. He was also a huge fan of the Texas Rangers and the Dallas Cowboys. He loved trivia and quoting movie lines and would break out in song at any time. He loved to laugh, he loved to make people laugh, and he loved to reminisce about the times when everybody laughed! One thing he was serious about though, was dominoes. He was a competitive 42 player.

When he made a friend, he kept that friend. Never was there a person better at keeping in touch with old friends.

Derek was a Christian and he loved the Lord. He accepted Christ as a child and was later baptized in 1988. He was the official blessing giver at family meals. Derek always said that, “when you are talking to God, you don’t have to be fancy. God is your friend, and it’s okay to talk to Him like a friend.”

He is survived by his wife, Carrie Griffith; parents, Jo and Steve Stone; maternal grandmother, Helen Lasiter; sister, Brittany Draper and spouse, Dayton; nephews, Caleb and Easton Draper; many aunts, uncles, cousins, including his special cousin, Duncan Hyden.
Derek leaves a legacy of love, laughter, and friendships.

3 Things

I do not know how I will go forward, but this has been shared with me by many friends & family who have traveled this road...

Some days will be harder than others.
I cannot do it all every day.

I will make myself do at least these 3 things:

1. Shower every day.

11 days ago, I would have thought this is the dumbest thing I have every typed, today I clearly see how easy it would be to live in sweatpants and no bra. I will make myself care for myself.

2. Spend time outside every day.

This will usually mean taking Zumi for a walk. Some days I may just sit out back in the Tiki Bar he loved so much. I acknowledge the importance of fresh air and sunshine for both my mental and physical health.

3. Drink a bottle of water every day.

I know I need more than one bottle a day, but I am basically a child and without someone here to hold me accountable I will drink Dr. Pepper with every meal and then just for fun. I will justify it now, because I'm sad.  I know I need to stay hydrated and that water effects every body function.

For now, this is the best I can do.

A Burning Bush and A Christmas Tree

Our sermon this first Sunday of the new year was about Moses’ call by the burning bush, and I found a real parallel with decorating the bank lobby for Christmas. 

Last year, my job was moved to a different city. I was fortunate to be transferred to a different, but local, branch of the same bank; and I was blessed to work with Diane for several months before she retired. Diane is a sweet lady. She is a sharp dresser, volunteers at her church, and has an eye for detail and decorating. She is the type of woman that when I fall into the trap of comparison, I don’t really measure up to. I know I have my own strengths, but I am weak and sometimes, I would like to have strengths like hers, too.

About the middle of November, two people excitedly informed me (at different times!) that bank’s Christmas tree would be delivered the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  This thing is gigantic and a company is paid to store it off-site and then come and set it up. I thought, “Man, these people sure are enthusiastic about this tree!” I was excited, too, because I love me some Christmas! No tree or decorations would be a problem and I was glad that there was a system in place to get the season rolling!  I didn’t understand for a while that this information was important, because it had been decided that I would be the one to decorate. I expressed my concerns about this responsibility, but I was assured that Diane left everything I would need and it would be a breeze. I thought to myself, “Diane?! Oh, no! Diane is amazing at decorating. This is a bad idea.” However, what I said was, “Okay, great!”

The tree arrived and I was allowed into the top secret ornament/decoration storage area. Okay, that was a bit dramatic. It is stored in the server room and I don’t have access to that door, so it did feel   a little like I was approved for security clearance! I didn’t notice any Men in Black type stuff, or did I? I’ve seen the movie, so I may never know.

We started dragging out totes filled with the most beautiful ornaments I’ve ever seen. There were golds, bronzes, browns, and hints of turquoise and the perfect mixture of shiny, beaded, glittery and matte finishes. I was inspired by the beauty and encouraged by the thought that there would be no way to make such magnificent pieces not look pretty. So, with a new confidence, I pressed on.  However, soon I became aware of a little issue with the tree.  It is super- duper tall and I am not. Also, I am not a fan of heights and the older I get the things my brain perceives as high are getting lower.  No problem. I was assigned a friend is who is both taller than me and more fearless.  

Now, Moses was in the desert tending sheep, minding his own, when he noticed a bush that was on fire, but was not being consumed. Curiosity drew him over and he was told to take off his shoes because he was standing on Holy Ground.  Although, our IT guy might disagree, the server room is hardly holy ground, but I am reminded that precious things are often kept in reverent places. To be in God’s presence, is so very special and he invites us there every hour, every day. Y’all.  We have security clearance!

The Lord told Moses, He had heard the cries of the Israelite children, and it was time to rescue them from Egyptian oppression. Moses was completely on board. He had seen firsthand that Egyptian oppression 40 years earlier and had even killed a man over it. Then God told Moses that he would send him to Pharaoh with a message that it was time to let the people go.  Whoa, wait. Me? Yes, you.

Moses was bolder than me because he declared that he couldn’t and he wouldn’t! But then, God got angry and assured him that he could and he would. God gave him several miracles that could be used to convince Pharaoh that he was sent by God.  Now, I understand that that beautiful glass Christmas ornaments and turning a shepherd’s hook into snake aren’t even on the same level. The point is the same.  God will give you the tools you need to do thing you are meant to do.

Moses had one more fleeting argument. “I am not a very good public speaker, Lord.”  God had a plan for that too. He told him to take his friend, Aaron, along to do the talking. Think about this, Aaron was already in Moses’ circle. Just like my fearless friend, Jennifer, God often puts people in our lives to complement our weaknesses and help carry out His will. If we work together we can do great things. Note to self THIS is the reason that you can’t be good at everything. Other people need to be blessed and allowed to use their talents, too.

I am sure most readers know the rest of this story, but I still encourage you to pick up where we are leaving off, in Exodus 3, and read it for yourself as a reminder that God has a plan.  If you aren’t familiar with the story, here is a little spoiler:  God always wins.

Just in case you were wondering, the tree turned out beautifully. Like Moses, the results were not because of me, but were due to my willingness and obedience. I was given the supplies and stepped out in faith. I had the support of a friend with complementary skills. I know many people were blessed by that tree, because I heard them say so. Someone else might have done it better, but I was the one that was asked to do it.  

I don’t know what God is asking you to do in this new year. Whatever it is, just know that He is never wrong. He never fails. He is always, always faithful. Just step out and follow. It will be beautiful.

 

Even unfinished it was beautiful!