G is for Guilt

 

 

The enemy has been working on me double time. These are the things I have worried about or felt guilt about. When you read you will see what a conniving liar he can be. I need prayer in this area because I am finding it to be a struggle not to fall into his traps.


Lie #1:  I should have insisted Derek go to the doctor.

Truth: In fact, I did insist. I had straight up thrown a fit, but Derek didn't realize how bad it was. He would never have chosen to leave me. The bible tells us our days are numbered and so we know it wouldn't have changed this outcome.


Lie #2: I should be ashamed for having a good day at work and for smiling.

Truth: Derek would NOT want me to be sad. He told me over and over again when my Dad passed away to hold on to the good things, enjoy life, be thankful for having had such a great Dad and honor him by living. I know he would expect that from me now, too.

Lie#3:  I was not honoring his memory when I bought my brand of frozen pizza instead of Derek's, when I moved the TV angle more towards my spot than his, and scooted the coffee table back a little closer than Derek had it.

Truth: Who cares? Derek wouldn't. My comfort, happiness, and protection were his main concern. He would insist I carry a jacket when it was cold or go to bed when it was getting late. (I've mentioned before, I am basically a child).

Lie #4: I have also worried about burdening others and then at the same time beat myself up for not asking for help.

Truth: My people want to help me. My people love me. And Derek, with his outgoing personality and ability to maintain friendships, unknowingly placed people in my life to help me through this time. I should not steal blessings, but I should be strong.